5 Questions Every Pastor Needs to Ask
People sometimes ask me, “If you were leading a church again, what would you do differently?”
One of my answers always surprises them:
I’d spend more time reflecting.
Not planning. Not strategizing. Not vision boarding.
Just… reflecting.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a complicated relationship with my iPhone.
I love it because it basically lets me run a small country from my pocket, email, sermons, playlists, Uber Eats, the lot.
But I hate it because it’s also a never-ending dopamine slot machine that slowly fries my ability to sit still and think.
I don’t sleep with it by my bed anymore (one small victory for the soul). But even so, I’ll still sometimes shuffle across the room, half-asleep, grab it, and suddenly I’ve traded the sacred space between dreaming and waking for a morning scroll through breaking news, fantasy league scores, and a token “Word of the Day” I’m not even going to remember.
And all that before I talk to God.
Or my own soul.
If you’re a pastor, I don’t need to tell you: reflection is becoming a lost art.
It takes effort now. Real fight.
But reflection is a superpower. It lets you look at the past, in the presence of God, in a way that shapes your future.
Our souls need it.
Our teams need it.
Our families desperately need it.
So here’s a tool:
Grab a notebook. Turn your phone off. Find a quiet corner.
Ask yourself these five (okay, six) questions:
1. Are there conversations I’m avoiding?
The conversations you regret the most are usually the ones you never had.
What you tolerate can eventually dominate.
One tiny misalignment now, one degree of avoidance, can leave you miles apart later.
Ask yourself:
What conversation am I dodging?
What am I afraid of?
Is it rejection? Insecurity? The need to be liked?
Do I lack the skills, or just the courage?
You don’t need to run into conflict like a bull in a china shop. But you do need to stop walking in circles around the thing God’s calling you to walk through.
2. Am I leading by faith?
Am I carrying our church’s hopes and plans in prayer?
Or am I managing things in the flesh?
Pastoring invites us into the seen and unseen.
One eye on the spreadsheets and rosters.
The other closed in prayer, listening for Heaven’s whisper.
Don’t lose the supernatural edge. The mystery.
Don’t settle for what you can accomplish in your own strength.
Contend. Fast. Intercede.
You’re not managing a nonprofit. You’re stewarding a move of God.
3. Is my whole life still the example?
Ministry has a way of letting us drift from our values in the name of serving them.
You know the drift:
Rushing through devotions to make the early meeting.
Skipping meals with the family.
Being physically present but emotionally AWOL at home.
Paul told Timothy to be an example. Not just in the pulpit. In everything, speech, life, love, faith, purity.
Would your marriage, your parenting, your soul, your health, be something your team wants to imitate?
Live for the applause of the Lord, not the expectations of the crowd.
4. Is this pace sustainable?
I’ve said it. You’ve said it.
“Once I get through this season, I’ll slow down.”
But spoiler: that season doesn’t end.
There’s always another project, launch, crisis, or calendar crunch.
What if it’s not a season?
What if it’s a pattern?
What if there’s something under the surface, a need for approval, fear of failure, or addiction to productivity, that’s driving you beyond your God-given limits?
Pull the thread.
Shine the light.
Find a rhythm you could live with for 40 years.
5. Is there an area of my life I’m compromising or justifying?
Small cracks sink big ships.
It’s the slow leaks, what you watch, how you think, how much you drink, that create spiritual collapse.
Ask:
Is there anything I’m excusing that actually needs repenting?
Am I justifying something God is trying to set me free from?
Bring it into the light.
Better a small disruption now than a full-blown disaster later.
Bonus Question (for the Married among Us):
Ask your spouse: “Are you happy? Is there anything you’d like to see change?”
And then, this part’s important, actually listen. Don’t defend. Don’t explain. Just… listen.
They love you enough to tell you the truth.
Pick one question. Just one.
Write it in your journal.
Take a walk.
Talk it through with a trusted mentor or spiritual director.
Bring it to God in prayer and ask what He wants to show you.
And then, do it again next month. And the one after that.
Reflection won’t always feel urgent… but it might just be the most important thing you do this week.
